Category: Dating and Relationships
I've been thinking about marriage lately for some reason, and was wondering what others thought. Do you even believe in marriage, or should people just do the "long-term commitment" thing? What is the length of time before one would consider marrying, and is there a certain period that one should wait before considering marriage? Any thoughts are wellcome
I think marriage all depends on whether both parties involved are emotionally and financially ready. Marrying out of love is very romantic, and I do believe that love is definitely the first reason for a couple to take the next step, but I think financially, one has to be ready. Many marriages that fail are the result of arguments that have to do with money and they get bigger and bigger over time. As far as how soon someone should get married, I think a year after a couple gets engaged is a good time for it.
I prefer marriage than living together. but prior to that, you must think of various needs like, sufficient money, whether you want kids or not, a good place for living. mainly, how far your partner is willing for this proposal.
giving a good time for mutual understanding is always good for healthy relationship, in my opinion.
Raaj.
I think there's a windowof opportunity for marriages. I don't believe getting married immediately is necessarily the best thing to do, as you need to get to know your partner and the little things that will make or break the marriage, or at least decide your longterm happiness potential. But you also don't want to wait so long that the wedding itself feels more like putting a stamp on paper than the most romantic day of your life, it should still be exciting, fresh and people should perceive it as something new and exciting, not just wonder "oh, finally, jeez".
That being said, of course, we have 6 billion people in the world, probably 2 to 4 billion of them are married, I have no idea, but at least we should have a billion marriages, or a variation thereof. And I've found more and more that some things that you never imagine would work, do, and some that seem like a text book example of what should work, doesn't.
A buddy of my friend's fell head over heels in love with a girl and they got married at 19 after 2 months of dating. She left him 8 months later, took half the money he had made and 3 years later he's still a mess. On the opposite end, my sister got married when babtizing her and her husband's third kid and after 14 years of having a family together, and there was just nothing exciting about the ceremony, they didn't even tell people until the day before that they'd get married before the babtism, and it just lacked a spark for me, I was kind of bored and hung over (hey, it was new year's day).
But, generally, I think the success of a marriage has more to do with other factors. I think older people do better at it, I think it's good to have a few relationships to figure out who you are and what you like in a partner, not saying you should go look for relationships just to test them out, but I think the first couple have a very low success rate, despite best efforts, and if you experience a failed one it's good to try and take away from it experience and realizations about yourself and what went wrong and also what went right in the relationship.
I still think a marriage is a good thing, to meet someone and create an official family is probably the most special thing I could've done in my life at least, and it also make living together and having a family easier, society expects it (practical things like tax returns, health insurance, custody etc etc) and it's fun to have that ring and be proud of being married.
I believe there is a point in all posts on this topic. I do feel, however, that it depends on a lot of things that you and your partner must come to a mutual agreement on. I was married for a year, but we lived together for a few months before getting married. Although our marriage didn't work, I was very happy with the way thigs were for awhile. I also believe that as a married couple, you will endure many obsticles, but if you work together as a team, the obsticles will be like a bump in the road. Life is all about taking chances, and marriage and love are both chances that one must take to learn and gain understanding from their fears, mistakes, and triumphs. It's up to you and your partner to decide things like when, whare, how, and all those questions that come with making big decisions like marriage.
Wildebrew wrote an excellent post here. I personally do believe, and want marriage. I don't see the point of the whole, "long-term commitment," or common-law thing, but if that's what two people want, then hey, it's up to them. It just wouldn't be for me.
I'd say about a year after a couple starts dating they could get engaged, married soon after. Wildebrew is right, there's kind of a window. Some of the girls I went to college with married the guy about three months after the relationship started. Way way too soon, in my opinion. But I can also think of a couple I know who were together for 10 years before they finally got married, and all of their friends and family were like, finally, and like Wildebrew said, it was kind of boring.
I'd say it's important to strike for marriage while the romance and love are still in the new and exciting stages, though both parties should also recognize that marriage is work. Rewarding work, I personally would think, but work all the same. Too many couples approach it with these rose-colored glasses, where romance blinds them to everything else. I say enjoy the romance, as long as you're aware that a lot of time and effort has to go into a relationship, particularly a marriage, and make sure both of you are damn ready to put that time and effort into it. I've seen so much divorce throughout my family that when/if I do get married, i only want it to be once.
Before I took the big step I did a lot of research. Like you I wondered what all the hoop la was all about. Why on earth do I have to wear a long dress, get six pop corn poppers, and share cake with my beloved?EUntil
Until the past 50 years or so, most societies and cultures have celebrated and supported some kind of commitment ceremony. Whether arranged or for love, having two peopel agree to honor protect and preserve is an integral part of the human experience. Maoris, arabs, zulus, chinese, and christians marry.
Marriage protects children. To blossom and thrive, our Our young ones need security. Believe me, when they are screaming their heads off at two in the morning, walking out can seem extremely attractive. Both my offspring are 15 months apart. For both my husband and I there were times, that if it weren't for the dress, cake, and what they symbolized, we'd have been outa there.
In case of illness or surgery, Unless there is an advance directive on file, doctors are not obligated to give any information to a non married partner. The children or some other next of kin will be given everything and allowed to make decisions with or without your input.
Like plants and puppies, To thrive and survive, marriages need lots of tlc. That's talking laughing, and compromising. Honest communication shared with love is the glue that holds us together. Laughter is the balloons that lifts us up over life's bumpy roads. Compromise reminds us that no one owns right and if everyone gives a little an even better solution can be created.
My husband and I have been married for almost 25 years. He's my best friend, team mate, support, and confidante.
About six months is the minimum I'd wait before planning on giving or receiving the ring. By that time the bloom is fading from the rose of first romance and the real person is emerging. After that, maybe six months or a year of engagement is good.
Hope this helps. Good luck with whatever you decide.
Marage can be great, but I think it's imparative that the two persons involved can make it work, because divorce is a very ugly, and unplesent experience.
With it being my last year of college, I have thought about marriage and what it might be like, but I want to wait until after college to deal with it. Bessides, my boyfriend and I have only been going out for seven months, and we're not ready for any of that. I agree that couples need to be ready for marriage both emotionally and finiancially. They need to discuss a lot of things, such as finances and kids, before they wed.
I'm at the base of getting married, the biggest question I think mostly everybody faces is when, and ware.
You guys are right about the money situation.
One thing that I've heard is when you and your other half get married or get in to marage, as that you'll loos your ssi money, because the person is working from like a 9 to 5 job.
I've known my partner for five years, and I've dated him for 8 months.
Usually you hear about celebrities having these, but is there a way a prenuptial agreement can be arranged? Say you get married, then you get a divorce ten years later or something. the agreement would say that in the event the marriage has ended, everything the couple shared, (in terms of money and other financial things), would be split between them.
Yes. Anyone can get a lawyer to draw up a prenuptual agreement, for a price.